Kaylee was born on December 27, 2001...a late, but wonderful Christmas present. She was a VERY healthy and beautiful little girl. From birth, she would look at you in a way that made you feel she just KNEW how much she was loved. There was joy and a spirit of peace in her eyes. Every now and then, when she would get upset, all we had to do was turn on running water and she would calm back down. It was so funny :) She had a little rocker that had ladybugs on it that she absolutely adored. As she would grab at the little bugs she would giggle and smile. Her favorite song was "Say to the Lord." She would look up at me with her big brown eyes and just watch as I sang. Everytime I got to the chorus, she would tilt her head to the side and crack up laughing. Probably because her momma wasn't hitting the note, but it never failed.
She enjoyed daddy/daughter time, letting Dad lug her around in her little front pack. And he was never prouder. She loved to play with her big brother Kedric, too. He snuggled with her, fed her, played with her, and protected her. She loved him so! He could always make her smile. He was six years old when we lost her. He knew right away she was in Heaven. He never questioned it. That faith still amazes me.
Kaylee made it all the way to Good Friday. She was born at Christmas time and died at Easter. We buried her in her Easter outfit. I've never been able to buy my kids an "Easter outfit" since.
We never knew she was sick. There was no reason to think so. No symptons of her heart defect that would have been detected without an echocardiogram. And even then, the only thing that could have saved her would have been a heart transplant. God gave us three wonderful months with the most precious little baby girl. We were never sad. Never worried. We experienced her completely and fully without ever worrying about losing her.
On Ladybug Day, I allow myself to feel that love and the sadness that is left now that she's gone. If I did everyday, I wouldn't be able to function. We keep her pictures and ladybug reminders around though because I never want to forget where we're headed. I never want to forget what's important. This year I made a slide show of her pics with one of the songs we played at her funeral. It's things like this that help me heal. I also like to use it as an opportunity to reach out to others who are hurting. If through this story, someone else can find hope and be pointed to Christ, it's worth it. Her pictures and ladybugs remind me of my Savior and how He has redeemed her...and me. And death has no sting.