OK, it's been on my heart to start blogging for quite some time now. Could give a number of excuses for it, but since I hate excuses, I won't bore you with mine :) Anyway, I'm gonna give it a try. Perhaps in the process, I can get a little therapy through writing and possibly even provide some encouragement for others.
Those that know me will totally understand the name I gave the blog :) For those that don't, it's not about natural pesticides or a cutesy reference for all things "girly." For me, ladybugs remind me of my faith in God, and my sweet little girl, Kaylee. Kaylee was only in our lives for three short months. Well, actually, I guess it was a full year if you count the time she was growing inside of me. But at the age of 3 months and 2 days, she died suddenly due to an undetected heart defect.
I praise God for the time we had with her. I know I'm probably biased, but she was absolutely the most beautiful baby. And I'm sure this sounds cliche, but she touched the hearts of all who laid eyes on her. We couldn't go anywhere without people just loving all over her...and of course she was giving it right back. The small Korean church where we were serving, couldn't have a service if she was there. NO ONE paid any attention to the poor pastor...they were all focused on little Kaylee. :) She had this plush ladybug rattle that she loved. And she had a bouncy seat with a ladybug, caterpillar, and butterfly. She would giggle as she watched them spin and dangle in front of her. She had these adorable little pink pajamas with, you guessed it, ladybugs all over them :) She was our little ladybug.
When the first anniversary of her death began to approach, I searched and searched for a meaningful way to remember her. I couldn't just forget. It wasn't possible. And for those out there dealing with the same type of issue who are trying to forget a lost loved one, please stop. It won't work. The option of locking myself in my room and crying all day sounded appealing to a part of me, but the wiser part (although it's a much smaller part :) knew that wasn't healthy. I had to come up with a way to honor her memory, but more importantly, honor the God who helped my family get through the previous year.
Everytime I saw a ladybug, it reminded me of her. So, I looked into ladybugs and the history of them. Sounds silly, eh? But what I found out led me to what we decided was the perfect way of celebrating little Kaylee as well as pointing us back to Christ. You see, ladybugs are what you call "good bugs." They eat the "bad bugs." After finding that out, I realized that Kaylee truly was a ladybug in every sense. You see, her short little existence was enough to eat up a lot of the bad things in my life and in the lives of my family. Her smile melted bitterness. Her laugh destroyed anger. Even her cry fought off impatience and selfishness. And her death brought us to our knees pleading with God for help. He did just that. I know Kaylee is safe in heaven waiting on me. I miss her everyday, but I know I'll see my little ladybug again. Without a doubt. And until that time, I will do my very best to keep those bad bugs far from me and those around me.
So, that's what I would like this blog to be about. Fighting off those bad bugs and other things that come into our lives and eat up all that is good. God, thank you for the ladybugs!
How the Ladybug got its Name
In Medieval time in Europe, bad bugs were destroying all the crops. The farmers prayed and these little red beetles showed up. They ate up all the bad bugs and saved the crops. They named these good bugs after the Virgin Mary, calling them Beetles of the Lady, because they believed that God had answered their prayers and sent the bugs to save them. Over time, the name has changed to Lady beetles, Ladybirds, and now the most common, Ladybugs. So now every time you see one of those cute little ladybugs, you can be reminded that God hears and answers our prayers!
We've declared March 29 Ladybug Day. We usually release live ladybugs some where and give out some kind of ladybug token with cards explaining the story of the ladybug and the verse Jeremiah 33:3. It's helped us turn a day that probably would be unbearable into something that encourages us, our family and hopefully those around us. To know that even in death, my little girl can still make an impact to those whose lives she touches is healing.